What is a Good Life? #131
The Art of Aligning with Purpose with Dave Bingham
On the 131st episode of the What is a Good Life? podcast, I’m delighted to welcome our guest, Dave Bingham. Dave is the founder and managing director of True Circles Training Ltd – though he often calls himself ‘an assistant to alchemy’. He’s a Trainer, Mentor, and Facilitator in the Way of Council. Since 2009, he has facilitated Council groups in settings ranging from men’s circles and prisons to reconciliation programmes and open public groups. Formerly in the tech sector, he led major UK and international projects and contributed to global best practice. He later studied Psychotherapy and Eco-psychotherapy, before completing a multi-year apprenticeship to become one of a small number of Recognised Council Trainers outside the USA.
In this conversation, we delve into themes of purpose, alignment, and the transformative practice of the Way of Council. We explore the importance of listening from the heart and authenticity in communication. Dave shares his experiences of the profound impact of creating spaces for emotional expression.
This discussion invites us to reflect on depths of relating that I sense most people rarely engage with.
The weekly clip from the podcast (3 mins), my weekly reflection (3 mins), the full podcast (70 mins), and the weekly questions all follow below.
1. Weekly Clip from the Podcast
2. My weekly reflection
In the clip above, Dave shares his experience of being a specialist and expert in his former career in IT, and what occurred after being asked a question he didn’t have the answer to:
“I just spoke fluent consultant bullshit for 10 minutes at this guy. And he just kind of lost the will to live. And I said, does that answer your question? And he nodded meekly, and I carried on with the slides.
Got home that night, and I couldn't bear myself.”
Nowadays, in his work, when asked a question he doesn’t have an answer to, he invites himself and the group to explore it.
Back then, he made sure a crack in his persona as an expert didn’t appear — until one day, he couldn’t bear it.
And so began, first a craving for, and then a broader life orientation towards, authenticity and purpose.
Across the nearly 300 interviews I’ve conducted on this question, I keep seeing — in both subtle and obvious ways — the importance of living a life that feels true to us.
Not a life defined by a general path or perspective, but your own way — one that results from your inner and outer alignment essentially.
I suspect we have little idea how much harm it causes us to ignore this. We drown the subtle cries in distraction or numbing, until we become cut off from our own feelings.
You can see how this creates a hunger for more — more validation, more stimulation, more stuff — in the absence of something deeper.
And the more disconnected we become, the harder it is to feel any real sense of satisfaction at all.
Over the course of these interviews, I’ve heard several people describe themselves breaking out in skin inflammation, along with numerous other physical and mental ailments, as they continued to ignore this incoherence.
One person shared how, during a breakdown, his senses were heightened and he noticed his heart physically hurt every time he said something he didn’t fully believe.
He suspected this was always happening — but that usually, we aren’t sensitive enough to notice.
When I create enough space in my life, I don’t doubt for a second that this is always occurring.
Given how much I enjoy speaking — and with groups too — I look back at the handful of times I have choked on my words in smaller work meetings as my body telling me I am neither in alignment nor in the right place. And I already knew it.
Time to move on.
Instead of acknowledging that, though, generally we will view whatever is happening as our own personal flaw — instead of listening to ourselves, we now have another thing to fix.
I think this is rather human, understandable even.
We are slow to receive the message given the significance we place on having a well-paid job or status. It is so integral to our identity in our culture, that we prioritise that over ourselves.
However, at the same time we do this, we inflict another wound upon ourselves: not only the strain and pain of lacking alignment, the dulling of our senses, but we may never get to see our full potential.
Experiencing what we’re truly capable of when we’re free of this containment we impose upon ourselves.
It won’t guarantee outcomes, but it may be worth it regardless.
3. Full Episode - The Art of Aligning with Purpose with Dave Bingham - What is a Good Life? #131
4. This week’s Questions
Can you describe or imagine the experience of listening from your heart?
Can you recall a moment when you felt deeply disconnected from the words you were speaking? (as per the clip above)
About Me
I am a coach, podcast host, and writer, based in Berlin, via Dublin, Ireland. I started this project in 2021, for which I’ve now interviewed nearly 300 people. I’m not looking to prescribe universal answers, more that the guests’ lines of inquiry, musings, experiences, and curiosities spark your own inquiry into what the question means to you. I am also trying to share more genuine expressions of the human experience and more meaningful conversations.
If you’re interested in exploring your own self-inquiry through one-on-one coaching, my 5-week group courses, or fostering greater trust, communication, and connection within your leadership teams, feel free to contact me via email or LinkedIn.