On the 143rd episode of What is a Good Life?, I’m delighted to welcome Kimbra. Kimbra is a New Zealand-born songwriter, musician, producer, and adventurous performer. Her 2011 debut, Vows, was certified platinum in Australia and New Zealand. The following year, “Somebody That I Used to Know,” her duet with Gotye, topped Billboard’s Hot 100, became the best-selling song of the year in the U.S., and earned her two Grammy Awards. Since then, she has toured with artists including Beck, David Byrne, and Jacob Collier, and has released four more albums: The Golden Echo, Primal Heart, A Reckoning, and Idols & Vices (Vol. 1). She hosts the podcast Playing With Fire and shares essays, poetry and watercolours on her Substack newsletter.
In this conversation, Kimbra reflects on her ongoing journey to find balance and rest within her life and career as a musician. She speaks about the importance of silence in shaping her artistic expression, the power of surrendering to spirit, and the grounding influence of nature.
This episode is an invitation to embrace the fullness of life — its joy, its suffering, and the many paradoxes in between.
The weekly clip from the podcast (7 mins), my weekly reflection (3 mins), the full podcast (56 mins), and the weekly questions all follow below.
1. Weekly Clip From The Podcast
2. My Weekly Reflection
When we talk about a good life, few of us start by naming divorce, depression, addiction, death, loss, jail, disability, and heartbreak.
Yet these have been the experiences of some of the people I’ve interviewed who sense they are living a good life.
When I began asking people this question in the initial 120 private interviews, a common part of their answer would be: a life without stress or friction. But that idea unravelled quickly. People realised that their most meaningful growth often came during difficult times—moments they would never have wanted, nor now wish to give back.
One person told me she would never wish her difficult childhood on anyone. Yet, as she reflected on the person she is today, she also recognised that she is happy with who she has become, and her path would not have been the same without it. Over time, she found direction from what once felt unbearable.
This week Kimbra spoke of her experiences with depression—what she now calls “Honeybones”—when she feels she has nothing left to lose. From that surrender can come a sudden courage to take creative risks. Her story also reflects a deeper pattern I’ve seen across many conversations.
This is not about clichés like “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”, nor about desperately reframing “bad” moments into something positive. It is not about a linear sense of certainty as to how a really low period will play out.
What I heard, again and again, was different. People described these hard experiences as invitations—to feel deeply. To feel life, emotions, even pain itself.
It is not so much about growth as it is about intimacy with life—an intimacy that has led many people to an ongoing inquiry, regardless of the present circumstances of their life.
Our guest last week put it beautifully: “What does this moment require of me now?”
I put it rather simply to myself this week: “Laugh when you feel moved to laugh, cry when you feel moved to cry.”
For many guests, their reflections were born from a profound connection with life itself—an ongoing dialogue that continues to yield wisdom.
It’s not an escape from the human experience, not transcendence, but connection—with all of it.
When we consider what a good life is, it’s easy to focus on what we want more of or less of. But perhaps the deeper truth lies in being close to life as it actually unfolds.
Knowing that we can have intentions—and they are important—but that this life has a mind of its own, and compelling it to be one thing or another doesn’t usually work out too well for us.
Our culture rarely encourages us to see this. Instead, we’re fed stories, expectations, and fantasies that promise happiness and control but usually deliver only fleeting highs—followed by emptiness.
After 300+ interviews, I’ve realised something. A good life is not about outcomes. It’s about experiencing the deep interconnection that underlies reality itself—whether you look through the lens of physics, biology, or spirituality.
Nothing will protect us from the ebb and flow of life—the gains and losses, the births and deaths. But we can choose how to engage with them. Not labelling them as beautiful or horrific, but as moments to respond to.
Sometimes with tears. Sometimes with laughter. Sometimes with pain or joy.
Yet I suspect that the potential to do so—with a sense of belonging and connection, to feel held by life itself—is the cornerstone of many people’s good life.
Thanks for reading What is a Good Life?
3. Full Episode - Embracing The Fullness Of Life with Kimbra - What is a Good Life? #143
4. This Week’s Questions
Has a difficult or low period in your life ever given you the courage to try something new — because you sensed you had nothing to lose, that it couldn’t get worse?
How would you describe your connection with life itself?
About Me
I am a coach, podcast host, and writer, based in Berlin, via Dublin, Ireland. I started this project in 2021, for which I’ve now interviewed over 300 people. I’m not looking to prescribe universal answers, more that the guests’ lines of inquiry, musings, experiences, and curiosities spark your own inquiry into what the question means to you. I am also trying to share more genuine expressions of the human experience and more meaningful conversations.
If you’re interested in exploring your own self-inquiry through one-on-one coaching, my 5-week group courses, or fostering greater trust, communication, and connection within your leadership teams, feel free to contact me via email or LinkedIn.