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What is a Good Life? #43
Reclaiming Who You Are with Pat Divilly
On the 43rd episode of the What is a Good Life? podcast, I am delighted to welcome Pat Divilly as our guest. Pat is the host of the hugely popular Pat Divilly Podcast, the author of the #1 bestseller 'Fit Mind', and frequently delivers workshops, online programmes, and retreats designed to support emotional healing, connection, and authentic living.
In this episode, we discuss Pat’s journey of reclaiming who he is and his transitions from the health and fitness industry towards spirituality, shadow work, emotional healing, and connection.
We explore how to recognise who we are and what we need to express, allowing room for experimentation and play in our lives, embracing the messiness of transitions, accepting what is in our shadows, and engaging with the dozens of sub-personalities that exist within us.
If you are feeling that the life you are living is not your own, and there is a yearning for something new in your life, this episode, along with Pat’s transparency, example, and guidance, will give you plenty to consider in recognising who you are and what your next steps can be.
The weekly clip from the podcast (2 mins), my weekly reflection (2 mins), the full podcast (60 mins), and the weekly questions all follow below.
1. Weekly Clip from the Podcast
2. My weekly reflection
In this discussion, Pat and I frequently reference the importance of acknowledging which parts of us need expression.
I obviously say this a lot, but we all need to figure out our own answers to life; nobody else knows how we feel or what we need. Simply following the values, norms, and myths of our culture and adopting them as our own clearly doesn’t provide much contentment, as evidenced by various health trends in society.
What makes me feel incredibly alive and hugely content in my life, regardless of external outcomes, is the repeated process of paying attention to what needs to be expressed from within me and acting upon that. Do I need to engage more with adventure or creativity? Do I need to express an emotion or resolve a dispute, or communicate a boundary?
I am convinced that if we all spend some part of our day without distraction or inputs, such as meditation, sitting in silence on a park bench, or going for a walk without headphones, we can become attuned to what we need to express in our lives over time. If you’ve just said you’re too busy, please check your screen time.
Discovering what you need is one thing while acting upon it may present another set of challenges; sometimes it may require us to sacrifice comforts, luxuries, or status, to stop keeping up with the Jonses, to increase the level of uncertainty, face our fears, or go to uncomfortable places.
However, once you recognise what you need and what you need to do, instead of just focusing on the short-term pain this may cause you, pay attention to what each moment of non-action or non-expression costs you, how this more subtle yet pervasive and continuous discomfort affects you.
Is it affecting your daily mood? Do you snap more because of it, or eat more erratically? Put more simply, how are you feeling in your life? Is it worth it to ignore this need and hold onto how things presently are? How much longer can you do that for?
Finally, with whatever we have decided we need to do, we don’t need to be all or nothing in adopting or implementing our expressions of ourselves. Engaging more with creativity doesn’t have to mean quitting your job to become an artist; it could just be writing for yourself. Being more assertive in your life doesn’t mean you have to start with the deepest and heaviest conversations within difficult relationships; it may simply involve challenging yourself to say “no” the next time the opportunity arises, and building from there.
In a world where people are feeling more lost in terms of direction and what they need to do, finding the answers remains as easy as it ever was. However, the obstacles to engaging with that simplicity are stacking up. It’s up to you, and you only, to continuously carve out the time to access the answers.
If you’d like to work with me to awaken your own self-inquiry, message me here to a arrange a free 30-minute 1-on-1 consultation
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3. Full Episode - Reclaiming Who You Are with Pat Divilly - What is a Good Life? #43
4. This week’s Questions
Whatever description you use of yourself most often, e.g. I am a nice person, what evidence do you see for the complete opposite also being true?
If you sit quietly for a minute or two without distraction, can you hear or acknowledge what part of you is most in need of expression?
I am a Coach based in Berlin, via Dublin, Ireland. I left behind a 15-year career in Capital Markets after I became extremely curious around answering some of the bigger questions in life. I started this project in 2021, for which I’ve now interviewed over 170 people, to provide people with the space to reflect on their own lives and to create content that would spark people’s own inquiry into this question. I am also trying to share more genuine expressions of the human experience, beyond the facades we typically project.