What is a Good Life? #49
What is a Good Life? #49
Creating More Headspace with Dean Boland
On the 49th episode of the What is a Good Life? podcast, I am delighted to introduce Dean Boland as our guest. Dean is a Co-Founder and CEO of PolkaStays, a property developer, investor, and serviced accommodation consultant.
In this episode, Dean shares his experience of the toll that several of his corporate jobs were having on his well-being before stepping into something new. We discuss what kept him in the same loop of doing something he knew wasn’t good for him.
We explore our desire to do what’s “normal” and the role societal expectations play in our lives. Additionally, we delve into the importance of self-reflection and therapy in creating more headspace, as well as spending more time on things that bring us more fulfilment. We both reflect on narratives we have sold ourselves, the pain that can be perpetuated when we don’t explore it ourselves, and the role of hope and the people around us in creating welcome change.
I assume Dean’s experience in the corporate world will resonate with many, and while this isn’t a prescription for anyone else’s life, his journey of creating more time for reflection and inquiry, as well as the consequent changes in his life, will give you plenty to contemplate.
The weekly clip from the podcast (5 mins), my weekly reflection (2 mins), the full podcast (59 mins), and the weekly questions all follow below.
1. Weekly Clip from the Podcast
2. My weekly reflection
It's hard not to notice the increasing influence work has had on our well-being in recent years. I often reflect on when I began a role in corporate banking around 17 years ago; none of the more junior positions had work phones or laptops. The day concluded when it concluded; there was no encroachment into the time I wasn't at work.
While I occasionally had to work longer days, it seemed nothing like it is now. People appear to be "always on," and it's normal to respond to an email as soon as it comes in. I also find it increasingly disturbing that we can cancel almost any personal engagement with the simple phrase, "something has come up with work," and it is usually met with a solemn nod of understanding.
From the people I know, no particular role, sector, or working style seems to have a monopoly on work drastically affecting well-being. Whether it's entrepreneurs, individuals in corporate roles, freelancers, NGO workers, founders, etc.
Now, this isn't directed at people struggling to put food on their table. It's directed at those of us who don't live with food insecurity but instead feel under immense pressure to earn more. I keep wondering what it will deliver if we do it at the cost of our relationships until the day we retire.
Will photos of a fancy holiday make up for all the time we didn't spend with loved ones to provide that trip? Will providing the best education make up for the attention we didn’t afford others? Will saying you got several promotions in a few years be what makes you smile on your deathbed?
I've had the strangest experience over the last few years when work has been less of a drain on my life in terms of headspace. The time and attention it has allowed me to focus on important relationships in my life, and even social relationships, has supercharged me with an aliveness and feeling of connection that I would have dreamed to experience from all the other things I was at some point chasing.
I say that as someone who had the fortune of being offered a role with a 40% pay increase for my last role in finance and who left it on the first day because I had this feeling that there is much more to this life. Despite being in a planting seeds phase of my work with a new career in the last few years and feeling financial pressure at times, I know from experience this life has far bigger riches than our obsessions with work and what we can acquire through it.
While I have bigger ambitions with several projects I am currently embarking upon, and I don't see financial prosperity and general well-being as mutually exclusive, I feel like I am experiencing something that makes a mockery of our superficial pursuits. Meaningful relationships will trump the vast majority of what we are pursuing, regardless of the level of material wealth we are experiencing or pursuing.
If you’d like to work with me individually as your coach, to awaken your own self-inquiry, message me here to a arrange a free 30-minute 1-on-1 consultation
3. Full Episode - Creating More Headspace with Dean Boland - What is a Good Life? #49
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4. This week’s Questions
Can you recall a moment when you prioritised work over something personal that you still regret?
Is there a narrative you are repeatedly telling yourself that may not be true?
About Me
I am a Coach based in Berlin, via Dublin, Ireland. I left behind a 15-year career in Capital Markets after I became extremely curious around answering some of the bigger questions in life. I started this project in 2021, for which I’ve now interviewed over 170 people, to provide people with the space to reflect on their own lives and to create content that would spark people’s own inquiry into this question. I am also trying to share more genuine expressions of the human experience, beyond the facades we typically project.
If you would like to work with me, or you simply want to get in touch, here’s my email and LinkedIn.